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How to Be a Dominatrix - Embracing Your Inner Bitch    
 Welcome to Arena Blaze
 October 20, 2014

3 Things to Leave for Your Man When You Go Out of Town
Reader Q & AIf you’re planning on going out of town for a few days and leaving your man home alone, make sure to create care packages of three kinds of items to keep him content while you’re gone. Fulfill his basic needs to ensure he’ll be missing you for all the right reasons, rather than just for what you do for him when you’re home.
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Dom that Hates Riding
Reader Q & AWhen it comes to sex I hate riding him. It gives me no pleasure. I like it when he is on top or from behind.

Is that giving him too much power? How can I still be incharge?
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Reader Q & ANew to D/s bedroom only play and had questions regarding a collar. I really love the idea of seeing my husband slave in a collar. However, it seems like there is some special significance to this in the community. Am I going to get black listed for not paying my respects to the importance of the collar as a symbol?

Provided your answer is that it's cool to use a collar, then follow up question is- how do you use a collar during playtime? Keeping in mind bedroom only and I like the collars with the rings in them.

-Mistress Jo
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snow white dress
Reader Q & AI would really like my wife to dominate me wearing a snow white costume. For some reason I find her very sexy. I like dress up sexy but my problem is I can cum to soon and would like to be turned on for longer. I'm not someone who gets turned on by nakedness as I do like things covered (I know lol, I'm wiered) plus piercings and tattoos are a big turn off. So I'm gonna try and see if I can persuade her. I brought some whips and cuffs in case it happens just gotta wait for a good time to ask her.
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Helping Wife realize the truth about herself
Reader Q & AI am thinking my wife may be into being a dominatrix but is afraid to let go and embrace it. I have noticed she likes twisting my nipples and slapping my...not sure if I can be graphic on this site so I will say my pole. She also likes pinching my butt and things like that which cause pain. She can be rough.

I finally think I connected the dots that she may be a dominatrix at heart but afraid to admit it to herself.
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Travel with Bondage Toys
Reader Q & AHas anyone traveled with their bondage toys? I am looking to bring my submissive on a vacation and can't imagine going without my restraints, collars, toys, and attire. However, I am concerned about TSA and don't want to have any of these items confiscated. How am I expected to enjoy vacation without keeping myself satisfied?

Any advice? ~ Mistress Jill

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Height and Dominance
Reader Q & AI have a question obviously, but before I get into that....I just wanted to thank you so much for having this site :) It's been incredibly helpful to me as I begin to explore the world of femdom, and I'm grateful to you for such helpful resources. :)

My boyfriend and I were both virgins before each other, and while we both knew we had an interest in femdom even before each other, we are only just starting to explore it. We have a close, loving relationship, and live together. We are both interested in a more mild form of femdom that never involves pain. He is very good and willing to submit to me in sexual aspects despite being older than I am and holding the traditional male role in the romantic aspect of our relationship. That's how we both want it and we're an impossibly perfect match.

Now for the problem...
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Can you be both a Dom & Sub?
Reader Q & AI find that I want to be both a Dominatrix and submissive. ....Is that even allowed? Please let me explain. With my "Love" that I am with now, We have a lot in common. We both were abused when we were younger and cause of this both of us have secrets needs.... he likes to be dominated and I find that I love nothing more then smacking his sweet little behind and riding him hard with my strap-on just the way he needs when Ms. Beatty wants to come out and play (he he he). But I don't see me being a Dom to anyone else but him. There is a bond that we share because of our past.

But I have other desires like his to be spanked, and even though "my Love" will do anything to please Ms. Beatty he can't bare to hurt her.

Truth be told my fantasy is to have a bigger man then him dominate me.
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HEEELP - want to surprise him with his fantasy
Reader Q & AI am dating this guy that I was friends with prior to. We have had a few conversations talking about his fetishes and those sorts. Well, I went through his phone and found some conversations he was having with a few girls online, and it really got me interested. They talked to him like complete shit. As weird as this sounds, it turned me on. So I'm searching the mistress and domination thing and I want some examples. Scenes, things to say wear etc. I don't want to freak him out, however I want to completely catch him off guard he isn't excepting it because I'm a nice girl...:) I know he is into the financial dom and humiliation. ADVICE PLEASE
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Reader Q & AI am new to this whole world, I have someone in my life that wishes me to own him. He wants me to give him commands, I am very shy because I do not see this man as taking orders. He is the one who gives them, but he wants me to take control of him. I really want to give him what he wants and desires and I am happy that he has thought of me as the one to give it to him. I have purchased the boots, some outfits, stuff like that but he wants me to give him more communication. Please help I am having fun with this and him I would like to please.

In need of some help.
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Dominant-Submissive fiction is Number One right now
Reader Q & AThe current number one selling book at Amazon right now is about a Dominant/submissive couple. It's called, 50 Shades of Grey. Apparently we are finally getting the word out! While the Dom in this book is the male, there is still plenty to learn from this, and it will get your creative juices flowing (If you know what I mean!)
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Toilet Training, Mommy Play and Puppy Play
Reader Q & AMy man has asked me to research toilet training as he wants to do it lol. I don't really know much about it or what to do at all and I really want to please him and play with him. So, an you please help me with this and at least tell me where to go to find something to read on the subject. Also he is interested in Mommy play and I can sort of figure it out but I would still like to do some reading on it. Same thing for puppy play. Thank you for this awesome site.
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Brand Spanking New Domme
Reader Q & AI just found out my guy is really into being dominated but I'm such a sub that I would be happy to do this for him. Confusing to begin with, but aside from that I have no idea where to start. What should be punished? What should be rewarded? And which is what? Also how can you make having that kind of attitude less tiring? I know I'm asking for a lot but anything you can give me would be so helpful.
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New punishment ideas? - for long distance domination
Reader Q & AI am currently learning how to be a Dominatrix and have found a willing sub and I have to say I am loving it so far. I did not really have a clue where to start but found this site and read it all before beginning. I found it the most helpful thing to me yet, so thank you.

My problem is not only am I new, but my sub is as well PLUS he lives miles away from me. I have read the Q&As on long distance and telephone domination and am grateful for the help there. Can anyone offer anything further. Given we are quite restricted I fear the novelty will wear off and there is a chance I can put this into practice in person with him soon, so don't want to ruin it.
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Safe bondage in the bathtub?
Reader Q & AI have a bit of a fantasy about tying my sub up in the bath. He is pretty tall and our bathtub isn't massive so he can't lie down in it (only sit up) so this gives me confidence that he won't slip and drown.

But having never done this before I wondered if anyone had any ideas on making sure I do this safely. I was planning on tying his hands but what should I tie them to? The taps?

Have you ever tried this? Any tips?
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Text and email commands
Reader Q & AHello I'm new to the whole Dom and sub thing. I'm not sure how to go about commanding someone via text or email. How should I start off? He says he accepts my financial use and control and that he fully submits to me. He says he'll be completely focused on my pleasure and giving certain freedoms in order to serve my interests. Should I demand something of him, I have no idea how to start but I'm excited about his willingness to serve me.
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Teacher/Governess - student role play
Reader Q & AHello. I'm not even sure where start.. Thank you in advance for patiently reading. I met this guy and we got talking, one thing led to another and the next moment I was in his living room spanking him with a wooden ruler and wooden brush....Something I've never done before!

He wants to be treated like a naughty school boy and spanked for his wrong doings. After our initial encounter I mentioned to him that next time I'll use a riding crop to spank him on the bed and tie him up..but he doesn't want to be tied up...says it's too s&m and wants to keep things old fashioned...??
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Determining if someone is receptive to being a sub
Reader Q & AThis is a two-part question. First, I am 50 years old and know I want to exercise more power in my life, especially over men. Since this would be new for me, I would like to know how I would determine a potential pet's interest in belonging to me.

Second, I recently vacationed in Jamaica and met a very luscious 29-year old Jamaican man. I really want to make him my pet, but I'm unsure how to gauge his interest in this kind of relationship. In this specific instance, I would be dealing with cultural differences. I'm not sure if different cultures have different ways of expressing themselves. Would I do the same thing here as I would in part one of my question?

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Too cute?
Reader Q & ADear Mistress Blaze,

It seems every where I look, its the strong, sexy, streamlined, dominatrix. This is kind of an issue, because I am more in the cute, almost gothic lotia cute, zone. I know that there is no way on this earth I will ever be slave material, but is it even possible to be a... I don't know, a cute dominatrix? Is "cute and deadly" a no no?


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I want a Servant not a Slave
Reader Q & AMy first steps in taking control:
I have purchased a "red rider" strap-on and taken his virgin ass several times... He is broken in and ready to accept more...
Every morning I insert a catheter and direct him to kneel as he swallows my "magic Nectar"... This is to remind him throughout the day that I am in charge...
I don't want him doing house work and have hired a cleaning service so that he may pay more attention to his Queen... I want a servant, not a slave...
If anyone would like to comment or give advise I look forward to reading and responding to your letters...
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Want him eating out of your hand?

Then get this book, "The Ultimate Guide to Talking Dirty". He'll want you so bad that he'll do ANYTHING.

Download it now!


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