The relationship between a Domme and a sub may seem fairly simple. One does the hurting, the other takes the pain, but what makes it work? The Mistresses have talked a lot on this site about how to be a Domme, and they've asked me - on pain of torutre, of course - to talk a little about what goes on in the head of a sub during a scene. After all, knowing what your sub is getting out of the scene is a great way to make it better - or worse - for them.

Lots of people think that all subs are masochists who like to be beaten, pinched, slapped and otherwise abused until it hurts. I am not a masochist. Masochists like pain, and I do not like pain. My Mistress sometimes (often) uses pain to remind me of what I am supposed to be doing, but I don't like it. I try to avoid it all costs.

There are those subs out there for whom pain is a point of clarity - for lack of a less snooty way to say it. Through pain, they are able to focus. Pain comes about from pushing the senses to their highest extreme, and it can be a thrilling experience. It can also be a release. Pain takes everything else away, and if it is handed out in small doses by a person who knows your limits then it can be a powerful release.

Subs who are also masochists are usually fiercely devoted to their Dommes, and rightfully so. It takes a while to learn another person's limits when it comes to pain, and what kind of pain is good, as opposed to the kind that is bad.

Obey...it's easier.
(sj)

Next Week: The Insecure Sub