The relationship between a Domme and a sub may seem fairly simple. One does the hurting, the other takes the pain, but what makes it work? The Mistresses have talked a lot on this site about how to be a Domme, and they've asked me - on pain of torutre, of course - to talk a little about what goes on in the head of a sub during a scene. After all, knowing what your sub is getting out of the scene is a great way to make it better - or worse - for them.

I know a female sub who wears a small piece of natural hemp rope on her ankle at all times. Her Master makes her wear it as a reminder that he is thinking about her, and that he is her security blanket. She says that the feeling of her lover's hands pulling the ropes tightly around her body is like being embraced by him, and it is a feeling that she can't wait to experience.

On the other hand, I know a Domme who was inducting a first time sub. She set her scene, and began tying her sub only to have the sub freak out at the first sign of tension. Unfortunately for the sub, the set-up did not include the Safety Shears that should ALWAYS be a part of setting up a bondage scene, and the sub injured herself during her moment of panic. Needless to say that was the last time the sub ever allowed herself to be put in that situation.

Being a sub is a "claustrophobic" experience. Especially if you are tied up. There is a feeling of being enclosed, pressed in on, and for some subs that feeling means security. Even if rope isn't your thing, the security of having your safety in another person's hands, and knowing that they will take care of you if something goes wrong makes you feel safe and protected. Even if that other person is using your body for their own pleasure.

Obey...it's easier.
(sj)

Next Week: The Masochist