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How to Be a Dominatrix - Embracing Your Inner Bitch    
 Welcome to Arena Blaze
 October 25, 2014

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
The Art of AuthorityA quick dominatrics 'how to' guide. As in, "How to be a Dominatrics"

Ok, for starters, if you're going to be it, let's learn how to spell it. You found this page because you searched for the term "dominatrics" or maybe even "dominatricks". The word is actually "Dominatrix". You can also use the term Dom or Domme (a feminine version). Some people even like to use the term "Domma" or "Domina" which is also fine. Be sure to use a capital letter. After all, it's all about us -- if you're number one, then you need to make sure your name or any reference to you is capitalized. Remember the opposite for your sub, because your sub doesn't deserve capital letters, not even for his name. If you just want to call him "slave" that's fine too. Call him whatever you want. Do it especially when you are writing him a little note, telling him where to meet you or what he is supposed to wear or do.

OK, so here are some dominatrix ideas or 'how to':

1) Begin by reading everything you can on the subject. Learn as much as you can to get yourself fully into the right frame of mind.

2) Purchase a few props and articles of clothing .. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE shopping? (check the column on the right of this page for shopping links)

3) Develop your attitude. Don't be wishy washy. Make a decision and stick to it. Or change your mind if you wish, but don't go back and forth. Focus on the fact that you are in charge, and your way is the only right way. Period.

4) Begin with a plan or a "scene". Try one of the beginning scenes that we have described on this site, particularly the Training Day scene. These scenes are great for beginners because it gives you step by step suggestions on what to say and do.

5) Continue to visit us for more ideas. Start by visiting any of the topics below... Let your imagination run. Let your inner bitch flow... Enjoy!


The Art of Authority Domination 101
Set the SceneScenes to Play Ready to Dive In?
Look The PartLook The Part
Bondage Buzz - Toy ReviewBondage and the Buzz Toy Review
Music SelectionLubricous Modulation Mind Your Music
Reader ContributionsReader Contributions / Questions

Still need help?  Try the Mistress Manual or Rock His World with a Leather Outfit

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How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: MistrezzJean on February 27, 2009

I'm new to the whole scene and have been using this site as a reference VERY often but I still can't seem to get comfortable in the position. I get nervous and freeze sometimes, forgetting what I was saying... Any advice?
Always, MistrezzJean

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Mistress_Blaze on February 28, 2009

Write down a few of your key phrases that you want to stick with as part of a "script" for yourself. Keep it just bare bones, put it on a notecard and keep it near by. Try making him wear a blindfold for most of it and only letting him peek out a little at a time. This will give you more confidence if he is not looking at you. OR, just order him to look at the floor. MAKE him. Then try to relax and have fun! He WANTS you to, and you CAN'T do it wrong, because YOU are the boss.

If you freeze and forget what you were saying, then order HIM to tell you what you JUST said. Do that as often as necessary, then you don't have to remember!

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: MistrezzSamantha on March 01, 2009

Thanks! Wow, I was really surprised when I got such a quick response! I did have one more question though.

I deffintly need help controlling and keeping him in line. I've attepted 'Training Day' multiple times and it works for a little. I've tried physical punishment (sadly, he likes the pain) and not giving him attention but nothing seems to work.

Help? Thank you!

Mistrezz Samantha

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Mistress_Blaze on March 02, 2009

This is a common problem! Check out this whole article...

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Mistress Minx on March 06, 2009

Dear Mistress Blaze:
I thoroughly enjoy your web site. Thank you so much for making this resource available!

Do you have any suggestions regarding how I can dominate my slave by phone? I'm looking for specific ideas. I have required him to delay orgasm, to wear panties, to tie a string around his genitals, to write me essays. Do you have any other ideas?

Thank you again!
~Mistress Minx

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Webmistress on August 17, 2009

Here are some tips on long distance domination that might help.....

Be sure to hit up the Readers Q and A section for the best place to post questions!

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: MsCharmaine on October 03, 2009

I'm new to this, and finding this website has been so helpful. I've been soaking up as much information as I can here. Thanks so much to Mistress Blaze and her staff for sharing their experiences and helping us newbies to get our feet (and other body parts) wet. I'll definitely be staying tuned and sharing my experiences!


"Help me become somebody else" -Trent Reznor

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Magunus Rose on October 10, 2009

Hello, brand spankin (:P) new beginner to being an dom. I have been lucky enough to find myself and interested sub that not only intrigues me but I find very tantalizing, only problem is he is half way around the world. I need guidance on how to keep him interested without being able to actually physically reward on the spot. Is a virtual realtionship possible?

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: rose46 on November 05, 2009

I am learning how to be a Dominatrix and my sub is also female. How does this change the whole thing ? We are both bi-curious and my husband participate. I believe I should Dom over both of these silly subs. How is it done ?


How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: SadisticMistress on November 08, 2009

I'm of course extremely new to the idea of being a dominatrix. It's always been interesting to me and sounds like a LOT of fun. I think I'm more worried that what if I have a hard time finding someone interested?

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: linneye on March 08, 2010

My slave is a scientist/professor and can only get into a scene when it is one where he does not realize he has been cleverly captured until it is too late. What are some clever scenario suggestions to bring my slave around?

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: AzraelSilverstar on March 09, 2010

I'm not compleatly new to Dominatrix, but I have a new slave. He's untammed, and anytime I try to train him he some how turns it on me. He's older by a few years, and taller than me... How can I fix my disadvantage toward him?


~Azrael S.

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Fantasyntl on April 04, 2010

Ohh how honored I feel to have found such an informational site. I have always had a strong nature and intimidate most men very easily. I have played with the thought of having a Domme take me under her wing and teach me the fine art of Domination. That thought is never far from my mind but I am not addressing my concerns right now but seek guidance in how to train a sissy online. He is quite willing and devoted. I live in NY he resides in Montana. He completes written tasks for me daily and is truly a pain slut. He desires to be a sissy wife and I want to help him reach this goal. I have asked him to take a rubber band and wrap it around his tongue several times early in the morning and it stays in all day. This way he feels me near him at all times. I felt that would be a great bonding experience for us. He was especially pleased by this physical task. When he removes the rubber band it is placed on his wrist. Each day I plan to have him add one more rubber band. I am a novice and seek out advise, ideals, suggestions. I have also been approached by others wishing for me to take them on. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated.

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Webmistress on May 21, 2010


There are some great questions posted here. However, if you want answers, then you need to post them in the correct place. The Reader Q & A section is the best place to do that. Your question will start a new topic and you'll get lots of answers. Try it and see!! Here it is:

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: MisstressPhoenix on October 15, 2010

I've been looking for a website like this for some time due to the
fact of I meet a guy who wanted to be a slave.He picked me.I
knew I could do it but I just wasnt sure how to do it.Than I found
your book than I found your website.Thank you very much for the
website.I love it.Can't wait to read more

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Marianaxxx on May 05, 2011

This page is amazing !!!! All what I wanted is here !!!! Thank u so much !!!!!!!!

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: Joy on September 18, 2011

OMG I LOVED that!!!! "Be sure to capitalize the D. But dont capitalize the s. He doesn't deserve it" *giggle*

Glad to know someone ELSE loves to shop!!!! I was worried I was gonna be left out cause I've been reclaiming my "Princess Hood." Can you wear pink and still be a Domme???? I sure hope so. ;)

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: ColleenD on September 23, 2011

Somewhere in the back of my head/heart/pussy, I always fancied being a Dominatrix. I've just been offered one on a plate. I found him on an ordinary online dating site, but his emails indicated more and more his "willingness to do ANYTHING to please me". Eventually I GOT THE HINT. This is my first slave... who knows how many more there may be.

He's out there, don't worry, just looking for you to take control.

How To Be a Dominatrics (Dominatrix)
Authored by: MistressHelga on December 31, 2011

What an amazing site. I've become more confident and comfortable with my desire to dominate.
I've never been a submissive girl who seeked for someone to take control over her. When growing up I saw how women (including my mother) were talked down to, controlled in their everyday life and, I assume, in bedroom, too, despised and generally considered inferior to men, but most were quite ok with their role and thought that that's how the things should be in this world (that's how it is where I live). I was called a pervert for my desire to have it different in my life, and to make men obey me. To tell the truth, i also thought something was wrong with me, untill I actually got to know about the whole D/s thing and discovered that some guys WANT to be dominated. I've met a guy on a dating site, he's sooooo good-looking, a bit younger than me and he wrote that he wanted to @please me in any way that I want", so I told him openly about my desires and he said he got really exited about the idea to me my slave. That's why I actually began to search for the info on the subject to make everything right. Not that I haven't done anything like this before - I used to tie guys to the bed, to spank them and to slap them at face (I LOVE to do it!), but often against their will, so I actually abused them, LOL. No safewords, no rules, just beat them harder and harder, my main wish was to see the tears in their eyes, and to hear them beg me to stop 'cuz it hurts. However, I often ended up thinking that my sexual desires were wrong and if I were normal, I'd be happy with vanilla sex/submission and let the men lead the way.
It was not long ago that I started to accept the Mistress in me (I actually discovered Her the first time I had sex in my life), and to be safe, cuz, damn, too big a responsibility (esp. when you cut your partner's body to drink a bit of his blood, which I did, and scared him so I never saw him again).

I just have a problem with being too short (5ft 5 in). I have really good looks, and I never lack attention, but it always seems to me that men love short girls, but see them as cute little pets to play with, no more that that.

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