I find that I want to be both a Dominatrix and submissive. ....Is that even allowed? Please let me explain. With my "Love" that I am with now, We have a lot in common. We both were abused when we were younger and cause of this both of us have secrets needs.... he likes to be dominated and I find that I love nothing more then smacking his sweet little behind and riding him hard with my strap-on just the way he needs when Ms. Beatty wants to come out and play (he he he). But I don't see me being a Dom to anyone else but him. There is a bond that we share because of our past.
But I have other desires like his to be spanked, and even though "my Love" will do anything to please Ms. Beatty he can't bare to hurt her.
Truth be told my fantasy is to have a bigger man then him dominate me.
I seen this friend of ours that is 6 foot 5, 235 pounds and solid muscle!! And because of our friendship and him losing a bet with me (yea me!!), I got to see what he was packing -- and let me tell you I know he would split my short 5 ft 1-1/2 inch 139 pound butt up, but that is one mountain that I would love to climb!! I find that I want him with more than anything and HARD TOO!! I LONG to have this man smack me like only a Dom could.......To say that I am lost and don't know what to do since I am new at being a Dom and have never been a sub willingly I find this new territory for me...any advice would be greatly appreciated!!