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How to Be a Dominatrix - Embracing Your Inner Bitch    
 Welcome to Arena Blaze
 October 19, 2014

5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
The Art of AuthorityDo you want to be a dominatrix? Either as a lifestyle with your partner, or even just occasionally for fantasy and fun. Basically, you want to have your man crawling along like the pet that he is. You want to show him who’s boss? Perhaps your husband or partner would like to be dominated by you, but you just don't know where to begin? If you want to make his fantasies (and yours) come true by making him the object of your possession, then, you have come to the right place! So, where to begin?

STEP 1) Read Read Read

Begin by reading everything you can on the subject. Learn as much as you can to get yourself fully into the right frame of mind. Start with the recommended reading on Blaze's book-list that we have posted online. There are some delightful "how to" guides there, as well as some erotic fiction to feed your fantasies.

STEP 2) Go Shopping!

Purchase articles of clothing to get you in the mood. Get an awesome outfit that makes you feel sexy and powerful... Get some kick-ass shoes. Get a prop or two such as handcuffs or a riding crop to get you started. You can add more later. Be sure to get an outfit for your boy-toy as well.

STEP 3) Develop your attitude.

Embrace your Inner Bitch. Don't be wishy washy. Make a decision and stick to it. You can change your mind if you wish, but don't go back and forth. Focus on the fact that you are in charge, and your way is the only right way. Period.

STEP 4) Begin with a plan or a "scene" and dive right in.

Try one of the beginning scenes with your partner that we have described on the web site. I particularly recommend the scene called "Training Day" for your first time. These scenes are great for beginners because they give you step by step instructions and suggestions regarding exactly what to say and do.

STEP 5) Continue to visit us for more ideas.

Visit some of the topics on our website. We have suggestions for more scenes, more shopping, developing your attitude, training your pet, spanking techniques and more. Check the topics menu at the upper left column of the site for more reading.

Let your imagination run wild. Let your inner bitch flow... Enjoy, my darlings.

Note: As per our Terms of Service, we do not offer advice on starting a professional dominatrix business. This site is for domination/submission enthusiasts only.


Still need help?  Try the Mistress Manual or Rock His World with a Leather Outfit

Sharing is sexy:


Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: vampiremama on January 26, 2011


Vampire mama♥

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: dommewannabe on April 07, 2011

I have a friend who is a sub...and when I told him I wanted to be a Domme he told me that I wasn't one. Is it that obvious when someone isn't and how do I change that.

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: potentpinup on April 22, 2011

Is it obvious when someone isn't? Yes.
How do you change that? You're looking to learn and that's good, just ask yourself if you're doing it for the right reason.

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: EbonyGoddess on May 03, 2011

Thank you so much for this site. I have been looking for a place like this one for a long time. I think I am going to learn alot and enjoy immensely. This is exactly what I needed.

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: Tara on June 02, 2011

Thanks so much! It's been a while since I embraced my Dom.
Really needed some support getting back in the game at this
stage of my life. This is the best site I've found yet!

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: JJinTX on June 08, 2011

I am so happy to have come across this site. after bring abused and cheated on in my marriage, one way i am taking control over my life is by submitting to my Domme side. thank you so much for teaching me how!

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: DomQueen on June 22, 2011

I have searched and can not seem to find a hood for my man-sub to wear. Where do I find one?

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: PleasureAndPain on June 25, 2011

Has anyone found any other links on this topic? Just need more
more more info. I want to learn MORE! If any other DOMMA's out
there could please show me the way to learning more about the
world of Dominatrix it would be a huge help.

Thank you Mistress Arena Blaze for this wonderful start in my
search for becoming the Dominatrix I know is dying to come.

Steps for How to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: Ginger on September 12, 2011

There is tons of great info on this site. Check out all the areas on the topics to the upper left. This site is FULL of great info!

Authored by: MISTRESS SANDRA on September 22, 2011

I just met a man online, the first I've ever come across that is into this and it turns me on emensely! I use to do phone sex so I'm pretty sure I have the potential to do this although I need the lingo and how to prepare myself mentally. He does live 5 hours away and we are willing to give this a shot! I need all the help I can get!
Any video suggestions would be appreciated!

5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: Damelia on October 23, 2011

these are very good tips.
but as a born submissive it is still difficult to let go of my
submissive nature and be a dom. master only wants me to do it
once and its still difficult to go against everything i was taught.

5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: MisK on May 10, 2012

Omg! So glad I found this website. I have always been a bit sexually
aggressive, but this.... This may be some amazing journey for me.
Guess I have always had the "dom" in me...just didn't realize what it
was. haha! Many thank yous! ;)

5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: MstrssD on June 13, 2012

This is PERFECT! I'll admit my sub found it first, and it is certainly worth a reward. Thank you for some excellent ideas on discipline among many other things. I can't wait share how it goes.


5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: LadyBellaLaVita on July 01, 2012

This is amazing!
I have always been very dominant in all my relationships, in
how i approach my partners at first and then later on in the
bedroom. I had never inflicted any sort of punishment until
one of my exes began asking me to slap her. I was hesitant
but then I couldnt get enough! After we broke up, however, I
had to tone this down because I didn't know who would be
Anyway, yesterday I went to a fetish party with a girl I have
been lusting after for over a year. Turns out shes a sub ;) I
couldn't have asked for more! So I've spent all of today on this
site getting prepared to unleash my dominance upon her. I am
so excited! Not even nervous, I feel like its a coming out lol
We have been texting while she's at work and shes being a
good little slave.

5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: Anila on August 01, 2012

So my husband and I have came to the conclusion tonight that our
sex life has gotten dull..and if something isn't done it's likely to
die. I asked him what he wanted to do to change it.. he told me
he wanted me to be a domme... I have...NO.. idea on how to do
that.. I've always been the sub type in the bedroom.. but
apparently so is he. I want to do this for him.. but i don't really
know where to start.

5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: 4gam342 on September 30, 2012

I so want to get this right. We are both new to this Ds role. We have not
yet found out all about each other. Yesterday he asked me about
whether I liked Watersports, I had to research and me myself found it
degrading after watching some video clips. I don't want to degrade my
guy whatsoever as I love him so deeply as my guy and my very willing

My guy introduced me to this and I cannot thank him enough. Although
I am a dominant woman by nature I've never had a guy actually want
me to be dominant on another level. We are playing in fact yesterday he
wanted a little fun so we had txt fun. He enjoyed my scenario and
wanted more. He asks me to be dominant to him, in fact screams out for
it. I really don't know where to start? I want to give my sub everything
he wants or feel he needs. Can someone please help me on this.

Miss no-name

5 Steps to Become a Dominatrix
Authored by: GoddessDivine on August 11, 2014

The other night my partner and I began discussing things we had always
wanted to try. I began my Top 5 List: 1) Tie him up. 2) I wanted to work
him up to the point of orgasm but not let him finish until I wanted him
too. 3) If he finished without permission, he would be punished in a way
that was my choosing. 4) If he was good, I wanted to let him watch me
masturbate. 5) I want a riding crop, a flogger and a leather corset with 6
inch black high heels. Before this conversation, I had heard briefly of
Dom's and subs. It sounded interesting to me but I never looked any
further. My partner remained very quiet and suddenly said, "Babe. You're
a dominatrix." I was shocked. I had never looked at my tastes like that.
He then proceeded with his desires and I automatically began cataloging
them as rewards, ways to tease him, things he should earn and coming
up with ways to punish him. I am excited! This is something we both
wish to pursue but I am just starting out and he is exponentially more
experienced than I. I do not see that as an issue but as a learning
experience. Any tips for a first timer? Aside from what is to be read on
the site. Thanks.

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