My Dear Miss20201,

I would like to say this nicely as you are supposedly one of my equals, but alas, I cannot. So here goes -- WAKE UP!! If this man would cheat on his current mistress, what makes you think he would ever be loyal to you? In addition to that, your being involved with him probably puts him at risk for some physical danger and serious punishment if his current mistress found out and did not approve.

You state that he is your submissive, yet, he won't do what you tell him, AND his loyalty is clearly to someone else. I am telling you what you do not want to hear, but unfortunately it is the truth -- he is playing with you. He is stringing YOU along as if YOU were the little toy. He is toying with YOU, not the other way around.

Do yourself a huge favor and find yourself a toy that YOU can play with, and not BE played. Good luck dear. You deserve better.

I know his current mistress would not approve, as our original friendship had evolved into more (not including anything remotely D/s at that time) over a year ago and she stumbled upon some text exchanges of ours. He said he would stay away from me, which he has, sort of, off and on, until her gets jealous of others' attention, then he reappears in my life.

I appreciate your honesty. I may have overspoken..he is A submissive, not necessarily mine, although he says he wants to be dominated by me, but doesn't seem to be able to submit...

Hmm, I guess this leads me to the question of how to find a better toy.....my area is very rural/traditional/boring...no idea how to even begin to broach this topic with a man, as I have been married for 12 years, separated now and working on the divorce and freedom.....

Again, I appreciate the honesty, as I have been contemplating just how seriously he was taking "us"...and you have confirmed my suspicions.

Wondering how this turned out? I'm in a similar situation... my sub does not belong to me solely - yet. I don't think he's playing me - but I'm new to this and unsure how much I can push him on the matter. My head tells me to walk away... the OTHER parts - including my heart - tells me he's worth the effort and wait.

I completely agree with Mistress Blaze.

His actions reveal his character which evidently includes negative traits such as dishonesty, disloyalty, selfishness, and lack of consideration for both you and his current Mistress.

I recommend dismissing the slave immediately out of respect for both yourself and for his Mistress in order to let Her deal with him and his bs.

Best BDSM wishes,
Mistress X