This is my first time every looking into becoming a dom. I've thought about it forever but never done anything about it. I'm bored with my sex life and I think my partner is too. I'm very shy and not good at talking dirty. I dont know what to say or what to do. I need help badly! I've been reading comments and will follow though on them,but the lack of words to use is discouraging me. Please help!! I'm in Delaware (close to Philly) Is there a place I can go to also teach me? This site is helping me to come out my shell THANKS..

My husband is overseas and wants me to control him when he gets frustrated by things that are going on with life. The problem is that I am new to doing this, in person controlling him is not an issue but I am running into problems with controlling him over the phone. He is very rebellious on the phone and refuses to do what I demand. Every command I give him he says "and if I don't?" I give him a warning and he still refuses. I know he's accepted these things from other women over the internet in the past and has easily obeyed them, so I am having a hard time understanding what the issue is with submitting to me. I have been a real bitch to him and it doesn't work. I do enjoy being the dom in person, but I am starting to hate it over the phone. I really need help with suggestions. I have a picture of him in a dog collar and chain and have warned that I will send it to different people, or voice clips of him saying he is my dog and that he will lick my toilet clean for me to use it. Sometimes this works sometimes it doesn't. Please help!

I recommend buying the books recommended on this site. Also, if you start becoming more submissive in your behavior, it might help give her that extra push you said she needs. If she starts focusing on your needs just remind her that yours needs are whatever her's is. Best of luck to you both

can't you just look up and attend local munches in your area?

Your wife is a goddess. She needs to understand that. Because at this point, she still is thinking of being a dominant woman as a sex game. It is not a sex game. She needs to think of it as you serve her in everything-from sex to daily things like chores. When she starts viewing it this way things will become much easier for her.
I had a similar problem when I first started. I was having trouble with the scenes and understanding that being dominant went beyond the bedroom and the 3-4 hour sex sessions that came to give my life (and my husband’s life) so much meaning and pleasure. However, you need to decide as a couple if you want to do this 24/7 or if you want it to be a fun sex game. A fun sex game is easy. You pop in a scene and BAM! However, if you want to do this 24/7 your wife will have to think as herself as a goddess and truly believe that her wishes are to be carried out-which is hard for many women the first time around.
You must understand that since childhood, we are taught to please. We are taught to please through our appearance and our passive natures-to agree with everything, to be pretty. Therefore, it is hard for women to be who they truly are. I would suggest that if you want to do this 24/7, helping her to reinforce her dominance by saying things like- ‘you’re in charge’-when choosing a restaurant and truly letting her choose everything. This passive behavior will help her become stronger and more confident. And always remember to shower her with compliments even if you hate the restaurant! The goal is to build up her self-esteem and dominant side. Believe it or not a women’s self esteem is directly related to her ability to dominate the men if it’s on a 24/7 basis.
I would also recommend being very sensual with her. Kiss her feet when she's sitting on the couch, put your arm around her in public. Let her know that you worship her and she is beautiful and that you are proud to be with her. This goes a long way to helping a woman be dominant.

I would also recommend for newbies the book "How to be a Dominant Diva". It REALLY helps when you are starting out with the practical day to day play!